Up to Date

I don't know about the rest of you living in North Texas, but the end of the triple digit days has never made me so thankful that fall is almost here! What a surprise it was to step outside yesterday and get goosebumps because of the cool air. As much as I wanted to go ride my bike or take a walk,  the transition in the weather really affected me and I spent much of yesterday lying down. But I was thinking about what a gift it was that the weather has finally cooled down and how I can't wait to enjoy it! For the past three months the extreme heat and barometric pressure changes caused the worst flare up of my RSD than I've had in a while and the reason I haven't posted anything in a few weeks. But today is a decent day and I hope as things outside become more consistent, the better I will be feeling. 

I can't say that I've gotten much of anything done these last weeks other than thinking about a multitude of topics I wanted to post on my blog. Creating posts in my head helped to past the time away and I even wrote a few drafts on my computer, although I was unable to finish them. Much of the time my hands were too swollen and painful to type for very long, but it has made me very eager to find my Mac microphone (it's buried somewhere among myriads of boxes yet to be unpacked) so that I can dictate to the computer instead of typing manually. My ambition for this blog has yet to realized and with the help of the microphone, I hope to be a much more regular writer.

Thank you for continuing to check my blog even though it's been a while since any new posts. It was a rather large endeavor to start this at a time when my health hasn't been the most consistent, but the blog has become a real passion for me and there's so many things I want to share with everyone. If there is anyone you think would want to know about the blog, please pass the information on to them. My hope is this will become a resource that people can use to seek more knowledge about all chronic pain (especially RSD/CRPS and other neuropathies) and how it affects those who have it, their caregivers, family, and friends. But more importantly, a place where others can share their ideas, questions, and stories about how these illnesses have directly or indirectly impacted their lives. 

www.dum-spiro-spero-rsd.blogspot.com

31 Days of 100 degrees+ and Counting

Okay, I have some things to admit. First, I'm pretty self conscious about blogging- not used to expressing myself openly for everyone to read, instead keeping it to myself or to friends/family when I can't keep it inside any longer. I don't mind answering truthfully when asked, and in fact that's how I prefer it as opposed to myself broaching whatever topic it may be. But chronic pain doesn't just affect me- it has affected everyone around me- my family, friends, significant others, colleagues, etc. Most don't really understand what's going on with me, my disease, how it affects me in every aspect, and most importantly they are too afraid to ask me because 1) it's depressing 2) they're afraid to upset me and 3) what words do you say anyways? Besides blogging for me, as is explained in my first post, I'm blogging for those that I know that are affected and for those that I don't know that know what my family, friends, and I are going through. At some point we must all look at the reality that's in front of us- ignoring life doesn't help you move forward. Victories come in even small sizes.  
The second thing I need to admit is that I'm rather disappointed in myself that I've not been able to post something everyday as I vowed to do. I need to get over that obviously and try again this week. And such is the plan...I've been in a lot of pain lately and at some point it just becomes difficult to do much of anything. 
But this blog is something I really believe in- I want to believe that someone can learn something from all of this. As another year passes, I want to be able to look back and see that I've grown as a person, that I haven't wasted my time on earth, and that having all of this to deal with has made me a stronger person still filled with hope and perseverance. And when I'm flared up and sick and the days are starting to blur together, I would like to be able to look back at my posts and see that I accomplished something even feeling lousy...to look back and see that there were good days too and that this too shall pass. 
This weekend I had one of my college roommates's wedding to go to. I have to admit that I was incredibly nervous to show up and be asked the question "So what are you doing these days?". I found myself slightly exaggerating and being vague about my situation, quickly turning the focus back on my friends. Perhaps I am still somewhat ashamed of what has happened to me- that I'm out of a job that I loved with all my heart, with little independence, and that worst of all when I tell people as cheerfully as I can, they suddenly become silent and look at me filled with sadness. Worst still are the friends who can't call and stop showing up. And so I've distanced myself as well- and to those of you that I've stopped communicating with and being a friend to, I am sorry. I hope to try harder and to stop distancing myself from the people that I care about. We all have problems to deal with and it's not just me that has difficulties adjusting to all of this. Things can always be so much more dismal than they are and in that sense, we are blessed despite it all. So really there's no sense to be ashamed or embarrassed. On a positive note, I did go to the wedding (which I was really proud of myself for not backing out) and the newly weds looked so joyful and happy to be with one another that it made my heart smile that I was able to be apart of their union.
And so I start out the week with a clean slate and a renewed purpose- to post more than I did last week, to get over being shy about writing, and to keep researching about RSD. Sorry if my writing ended up being a little melancholy- tried to write from the heart and with honesty. Hope you all have a good week! 

Chronic Pain and Anger...

Found this referenced on an RSD/CRPS blog and thought it might be helpful. Not just anger but stress can cause the same side effects as well so make sure to relax and try to be at peace!

Coping with Pain: Anger Management

BY LINDA RUEHLMAN, PHD · JULY 28, 2011 · 1 COMMENT
ANGER, CHRONIC PAIN · TAGGED: ANGER, ANGER MANAGEMENT, CHRONIC PAIN, CHRONIC PAIN MANAGEMENT, COPING WITH CHRONIC PAIN SYNDROME, COPING WITH PAIN

Chronic pain often makes people mad. Pain feels unfair. You don’t deserve it. It gets in the way of life. It doesn’t make sense. Other people just don’t get what you are going through.  It’s gone on for too long…

You may be angry and  you have the right to feel that way. Anger is a normal human emotion. But think about this: anger makes pain worse. In fact, anger brings its own pain.

1. Research shows that negative emotions such as anger can increase sensitivity to pain, making you feel worse.
2. Anger can increase muscle tension → muscle tension can increase pain.
3. If you tend to suppress your anger and turn it in on yourself, you may feel depressed, your self-esteem may suffer, and you may feel hopeless and helpless.
4. If you tend to turn your anger out at other people, your relationships with family, friends, co-workers, and your doctor may suffer.

 Anger Management

You might be shaking your head right new (perhaps in anger), thinking “Am I supposed to pretend like I’m not angry when I am?’ or “Should I be a wimp and justput up with things?” or “Am I expected to just try to hide from my angry feelings?” No.It’s rarely helpful to deny your emotions. But, you can learn to manage your anger.

A book by  Dr. Matthew McKay and colleagues,  “When Anger Hurts: Quieting the Storm Within”, is a very  helpful resource. It is easy to read, practical, and based on the science of anger management. The authors talk about anger as a two part process.

Anger has two components:

1. Internal physical sensations of stress. Your body is telling you that something is wrong, that you are being expected to do something that you feel incapable of doing. Your stomach may be upset, your muscles may feel tense, you may feel jittery, your heart may be racing, you may have trouble concentrating. Stress reduction techniques such as exercise, daily relaxation, decreased use of caffeine and other stimulants are proven methods of reducing levels of stress.
2. Triggering thoughts or beliefs. Dr. McKay and colleagues talk about two categories of triggers: “blamers” and “shoulds”. Thoughts that some one else is to blame can make you feel like an angry victim. Thoughts that others are not doing what they should can trigger righteous anger. Let’s talk a bit more about triggers.

Blamers

The problem with “blamers” is that they assume that others are really in charge of you. You lose personal responsibility and control. You cast yourself as a victim. Here are a few examples.

“He made me stay at the mall too long and now my back really hurts.”
“The doctor was in a rush and I didn’t get to tell her about the side effects to the drug. Now I’m stuck with it.”
“She stayed up too late with the TV blaring so I couldn’t fall asleep. Without a good night sleep, I hurt all over.”
“He is so lazy, I have to do all of the housework. Now I have a migraine.”

Shoulds

Shoulds are difficult because they assume the other person knows and agrees with your “rules” about how they should behave. This is often not the case. Rather than assuming others share your beliefs, it is most helpful to talk with them about what you each want and need. Below are some examples.

“She should know not to put so much stuff in the suitcases. Now my back is killing me from lifting them to put them in the car.”
“Why can’t he ever make dinner when I have had a bad day? He should think about how I feel.”
“I feel so awful and my family acts like nothing is wrong. They should take better care of me.”
“My boss should give me flexible hours. It’s so unfair.”

It is important to remember that once you have had a triggering thought, the anger seems justified and “right”. However, often when people begin to examine and question their angry “blamers” and “shoulds”, they begin to realize that there may be other ways to think about the situation. Take time to list your own blamers and shoulds. Try to identify the situations where you can take control and not be an angry victim. Talk to the important people in your life about your mutual needs and “shoulds”.

About the Author. Dr. Linda Ruehlman is a social/health psychologist and researcher, co-founder of Goalistics, and Director of the Chronic Pain Management Program, an interactive site that helps people with chronic pain to manage their pain and live richer, more effective lives.